Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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