I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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