I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
