Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
