She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
