found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
