Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
