I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
