I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
