someone threw a dead crab at me
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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