i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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