This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
