we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
