Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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