Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
