I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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