We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
You ate ashes out of my bong
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
