someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
