I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
