he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
