Whod you bang
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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