well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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