Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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