She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
