if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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