She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
