isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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