my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
