I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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