I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Randomize
