Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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