Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
what day is it and did you see me today?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
How drunk are you?
Completed.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize