oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
