big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
