I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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