I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Randomize
