I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
