so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
