i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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