you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
