I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
