I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Semen is not good for contacts.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Randomize
