I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
