it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
We just shotgunned beers for America
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Randomize