I think scott just propositioned me for sex
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Randomize
