i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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