where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
