My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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