have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
