i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
