Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
