So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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