i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize