I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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