what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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