How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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