Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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