I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Randomize
