We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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