butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
It was confusing and full of hummus
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
