Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
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